he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
