so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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