Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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