How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
