At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
