At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
