If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
