Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
