Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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