Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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