haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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