I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
