Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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