wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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