I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
