Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
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