Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
