im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize