For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
