My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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