I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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