and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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