But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
