So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
