I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
