Nicole vs. Life
id be glad to
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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