it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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