Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
