she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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