i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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