U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize