Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
