Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
