So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
