I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
