Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
