you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
