"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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