I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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