my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
