you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
