they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
