My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
