Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I die, sorry about rent.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
