I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
