dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
