i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
