I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
