Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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