i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
