i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
