is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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