only you would photoshop your dick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
