My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
