it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
