My sheets look like a crime scene.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
