based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
