i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
