Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
