Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
